The one who first states a case seems right, until the other comes and cross-examines. — Proverbs 18:17 (NRSV)
The first time I came across this verse after learning how to coach someone through a conflict and provide mediation, I thought: That is so true! We often don’t tell the full story, minimizing our contribution to a problem and enlarging the contribution (or blame) of the other person. We need someone to draw our full story out of us.
Similarly, each person involved in a conflict typically has a different view of what the problem is and where the fault lies. We focus entirely on the other person. Misunderstanding and our own blind spots plague our relationships.
I’m grateful that a number of quality Bible-based peacemaking organizations exist in the US, providing coaching & mediation services, as well as foundational training to help us learn how to discover our blind spots, examine our full story, and move away from a blaming, fault-finding mentality. Many countries do not have these precious resources!
(See the category “Peacemaking Organizations” for an introduction to a few of these excellent organizations.)
Some of the friends I work with overseas are the FIRST to create this type of organization in their country. It’s a privilege to do this pioneering work together.
I long to see the day when biblical conflict resolution & peacemaking training has been incorporated into every church discipleship and leadership training program!
Personal Action Step Idea: Have you been through a biblical peacemaking training? If not, take a first step today by checking out an organization and their offerings. Get equipped now before that next major conflict happens.
Or pick up a copy of my book, Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Relationships, and read it together with a friend. (Available on Amazon.)
