{"id":266,"date":"2023-06-20T19:56:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-20T19:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jolenekinser.com\/?p=266"},"modified":"2024-03-11T23:38:01","modified_gmt":"2024-03-11T23:38:01","slug":"barriers-to-apologizing-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jolenekinser.com\/zh\/barriers-to-apologizing-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"\u9053\u6b49\u7684\u969c\u788d\uff1a\u7b2c\u4e00\u90e8\u5206"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u4f20\u7edf\u7684\u5112\u5bb6\u5173\u7cfb\u89c2\u7ee7\u7eed\u4e3a\u4e2d\u534e\u6587\u5316\u4e2d\u7684\u4e24\u4e2a\u4eba\u5982\u4f55\u76f8\u5904\uff0c\u5305\u62ec\u5f53\u51b2\u7a81\u53d1\u751f\u65f6\u8be5\u5982\u4f55\u5904\uff0c\u8bbe\u5b9a\u4e86\u57fa\u672c\u7684\u671f\u671b\uff0c\u5373\u4e0d\u8a00\u800c\u55bb\u7684\u6587\u5316\u51c6\u5219\u3002\u674e\u5f3a\u5411\u6211\u89e3\u91ca\u5230\uff1a<\/p>\n

\n\u4e2d\u56fd\u4eba\u5f88\u5c11\u4ee5\u5e73\u7b49\u7684\u65b9\u5f0f\u76f8\u4e92\u4ea4\u5f80\u3002\u5728\u4e2d\u56fd\u4f20\u7edf\u7684\u4eba\u9645\u5173\u7cfb\u4e2d\uff0c\u5b58\u5728\u7740\u4e00\u79cd\u4e0a\u4e0b\u7ea7\u6b21\u5e8f\uff1a\u7236\u5728\u5b50\u4e4b\u4e0a\uff0c\u541b\u5728\u81e3\u4e4b\u4e0a\uff0c\u592b\u5728\u59bb\u4e4b\u4e0a\uff0c\u5144\u957f\u5728\u5f1f\u5f1f\u4e4b\u4e0a\u3002<\/em><\/p>\n

The older (or superior) is always right and the younger (or subordinate) needs to obey or behave in a certain way toward the older (or higher ranked). If you are above me, I am expected to respect you, and you are expected to look after me.<\/em>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u8fd9\u79cd\u793e\u4f1a\u6392\u5e8f\u5f71\u54cd\u4e86\u4e2d\u56fd\u4eba\u5728\u5173\u7cfb\u4e2d\u5bf9\u5f85\u548c\u89e3\u7684\u6001\u5ea6\uff0c\u65e0\u8bba\u662f\u6709\u610f\u8bc6\u8fd8\u662f\u65e0\u610f\u8bc6\u7684\u3002\u6309\u7167\u8fd9\u79cd\u793e\u4f1a\u89c4\u5219\uff0c\u4e0b\u7ea7\u5e94\u8be5\u9053\u6b49\uff0c\u800c\u4e0a\u7ea7\u5219\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u30022 \u4e0b\u7ea7\u8ba4\u4e3a\u4ed6\u4eec\u522b\u65e0\u9009\u62e9\uff0c\u5f80\u5f80\u9009\u62e9\u6839\u636e\u8fd9\u4e9b\u793e\u4f1a\u89c4\u5219\u8fdb\u884c\u8868\u9762\u4e0a\u7684\u548c\u89e3\u3002\u00a0\u201cForget about it! I\u2019ll give you face; you are older than me; you are the boss.\u201d<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 \u4f46\u662f\u5fc3\u91cc\u6ca1\u5fd8\uff0c\u4e8e\u662f\u51b2\u7a81\u7684\u95ee\u9898\u8fd8\u5b58\u5728\u7740\u3002<\/p>\n

\u9ec4\u6676\u6676\u5728\u63cf\u8ff0\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u6210\u957f\u7ecf\u5386\u65f6\uff0c\u9610\u8ff0\u4e86\u4e0e\u4e0a\u4e0b\u7ea7\u9053\u6b49\u6709\u5173\u7684\u671f\u671b\uff1a<\/p>\n

\nIn China, a lot of parents rarely apologize to their kids. When I was young, my dad frequently said, \u201cYour elder is always right.\u201d Parents are always right. He was also quite strict, never giving us the opportunity to explain. So from the time I was young, I never learned about apologizing.<\/em>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u5982\u679c\u957f\u8f88\u6c38\u8fdc\u662f\u5bf9\u7684\u8bdd\uff0c\u90a3\u4e48\u4ece\u903b\u8f91\u4e0a\u6765\u8bf4\uff0c\u957f\u8f88\u6c38\u8fdc\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u9053\u6b49\u3002\u4f46\u662f\u5ba2\u89c2\u8bf4\u6765\uff0c\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u4e0d\u53ef\u80fd\u6c38\u8fdc\u662f\u6b63\u786e\u7684\u3002\u56e0\u6b64\u7d27\u5f20\u5c40\u9762\u5c31\u51fa\u73b0\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n

\u674e\u5f3a\u66fe\u56e0\u5112\u5bb6\u601d\u60f3\u7684\u5173\u7cfb\u6392\u5e8f\u548c\u76f8\u5173\u671f\u671b\u800c\u9677\u5165\u56f0\u5883\u3002\u5728\u4ed6\u548c\u67e5\u7ecf\u5c0f\u7ec4\u4e2d\u7684\u5176\u4ed6\u4eba\u4e4b\u95f4\u7206\u53d1\u51b2\u7a81\u540e\uff0c\u4ed6\u77e5\u9053\u4e0a\u5e1d\u671f\u671b\u4ed6\u80fd\u591f\u9053\u6b49\u3002\u7136\u800c\uff0c\u9053\u6b49\u4e0e\u6587\u5316\u89c4\u8303\u76f8\u53cd\uff0c\u8fd9\u53ef\u80fd\u4f1a\u4ea7\u751f\u8d1f\u9762\u5f71\u54cd\u3002\u4ed6\u662f\u8fd9\u6837\u63cf\u8ff0\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u56f0\u5883\u7684\uff1a<\/p>\n

\n\u6309\u7167\u4e2d\u56fd\u4eba\u7684\u601d\u7ef4\u65b9\u5f0f\u6765\u770b\uff0c\u6211\u4f5c\u4e3a\u67e5\u7ecf\u5c0f\u7ec4\u7684\u7ec4\u957f\uff0c\u5728\u67d0\u79cd\u7a0b\u5ea6\u4e0a\u662f\u4e00\u4e2a \"\u957f\u8f88\"\uff0c\u800c\u4e8b\u5b9e\u4e0a\uff0c\u6839\u636e\u5e74\u9f84\uff0c\u6211\u53ea\u7565\u5fae\u5e74\u957f\u4e8e\u5176\u4ed6\u4eba\u3002\u6839\u636e\u8fd9\u79cd\u6587\u5316\u5bf9\u9762\u5b50\u7684\u770b\u6cd5\uff0c\u5e74\u9f84\u5dee\u5f02\u4f7f\u6211\u88ab\u8ba4\u4e3a\u66f4\u6709\u667a\u6167\u3001\u66f4\u806a\u660e\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u7406\u5e94\u53d7\u5230\u66f4\u591a\u7684\u5c0a\u91cd\u3002<\/em><\/p>\n

So if I behave like someone younger than me, that is, if I apologize, then the previous relationship of \u201cI am higher than you, you are lower than me\u201d changes. In this case, they are now above me; they have a certain authority to criticize me now.<\/em>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u674e\u5f3a\u5e94\u8be5\u6309\u7167\u5728\u9ad8\u4f4d\u8005\u7684\u4e00\u822c\u671f\u671b\u800c\u884c\uff0c\u9009\u62e9\u4e0d\u9053\u6b49\u5417\uff1f\u8fd8\u662f\u5e94\u8be5\u987a\u4ece\u5723\u7ecf\uff0c\u627f\u8ba4\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u7f6a\u8fc7\u53bb\u9053\u6b49\uff0c\u5e76\u9762\u5bf9\u4efb\u4f55\u65f6\u5019\u53ef\u80fd\u51fa\u73b0\u7684\u4efb\u4f55\u8d1f\u9762\u540e\u679c\u5462\uff1f\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u662f\u4ed6\uff0c\u4f60\u4f1a\u600e\u4e48\u505a\uff1f<\/p>\n

\u674e\u5f3a\u9009\u62e9\u653e\u4e0b\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u9762\u5b50\uff0c\u5e76\u9053\u6b49\u3002<\/p>\n

\nMy identity before God is the most important; it is of chief importance. My relationship with others is secondary. If he now views himself as better than me because I chose to set aside my face and apologize after doing something wrong, I won\u2019t pay attention to this. No matter how he feels about me, how God views me is most important.<\/em>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u5f53\u674e\u5f3a\u5411\u6bd4\u4ed6\u5c0f\u7684\u67e5\u7ecf\u5c0f\u7ec4\u6210\u5458\u9053\u6b49\u65f6\uff0c\u4ed6\u5c06\u5c0a\u8363\u548c\u7231\u4e0a\u5e1d\u53ca\u5f1f\u5144\u653e\u5728\u9996\u4f4d\uff0c\u800c\u4e0d\u662f\u7ef4\u62a4\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u9762\u5b50\u3002\u5bf9\u4e8e\u674e\u5f3a\u6765\u8bf4\uff0c\u4e0a\u5e1d\u5982\u4f55\u770b\u5f85\u4ed6\u6bd4\u522b\u4eba\u4f1a\u5426\u56e0\u4e3a\u4ed6\u7684\u9053\u6b49\u800c\u770b\u4e0d\u8d77\u4ed6\u66f4\u91cd\u8981\u3002\u5982\u679c\u6709\u4eba\u597d\u5947\u7ed3\u679c\u7684\u8bdd\uff0c\u674e\u5f3a\u7684\u7ec4\u5458\u63a5\u53d7\u4e86\u4ed6\u7684\u9053\u6b49\uff0c\u4ed6\u4eec\u548c\u89e3\u4e86\u3002\u674e\u5f3a\u4ecd\u7136\u662f\u7ec4\u91cc\u7684\u201c\u957f\u8f88\u201d\uff0c\u5e76\u4ee5\u8c26\u5351\u548c\u5728\u57fa\u7763\u91cc\u7684\u4fe1\u5fc3\u7ee7\u7eed\u5e26\u9886\u4ed6\u4eec\u7684\u5c0f\u7ec4\u3002<\/p>\n

\u6ce8\u610f\uff1a<\/strong>\u8fd9\u7bc7\u535a\u6587\u5305\u542b\u7684\u4e00\u4e9b\u5185\u5bb9\u6765\u81eaJolene\u5373\u5c06\u51fa\u7248\u7684\u4e66\uff1a\u00a0\u300aChanging Normal: Overcome Barriers to Resolving Conflict, Start Reconciling Relationships\u300b<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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\u8fd9\u7bc7\u535a\u6587\u4e0e2023\u5e746\u670812\u65e5\u9996\u6b21\u53d1\u8868\u5728\u00a0\u300a\u534e\u6e90\u534f\u4f5c\u300b\u4e0a\u3002<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u56fe\u7247\u6765\u6e90\uff1a\u00a0Jeong Eun Lee<\/a>\u00a0via\u00a0Pixabay<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n

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\u5c3e\u6ce8<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. \u674e\u5f3a\uff08\u5316\u540d\uff09\uff0c2019\u5e74\u4f5c\u8005\u91c7\u8bbf\u3002\u00a0Confucian relationalism<\/em>, a term used by Kwang-Kuo Hwang, is the technical term that defines a number of social relationships in China. Confucian values and their accompanying ethical system dictate the intimacy or distance of a relationship as well as the superior or inferior status of each party in a relationship. See Kwang-Kuo Hwang, Foundations of Chinese Psychology: Confucian Social Relations\u00a0<\/em>(New York, NY: Springer, 2012).<\/li>\n
  2. <\/span>\u4eba\u4eec\u671f\u5f85\u5904\u4e8e\u9ad8\u4f4d\u8005\u6216\u957f\u8f88\u8981\u5bbd\u5bb9\u3001\u5927\u5ea6\u548c\u9976\u6055\u4eba\uff0c\u4e0d\u53bb\u770b\u5e74\u8f7b\u4eba\u7684\u9519\u8bef\u6216\u8fc7\u5931\uff0c\u4f46\u5728\u4ed6\u4eec\u81ea\u5df1\u72af\u9519\u65f6\u4e0d\u9053\u6b49\u3002<\/li>\n
  3. <\/span>\u9648\u7f8e\u73cd\uff08\u5316\u540d\uff09\uff0c2019\u5e74\u4f5c\u8005\u91c7\u8bbf\uff0c\u7ffb\u8bd1\u81ea\u4e2d\u6587\u3002<\/li>\n
  4. <\/span>\u674e\u5f3a\uff08\u5316\u540d\uff09\uff0c2019\u5e74\u4f5c\u8005\u91c7\u8bbf\uff0c\u7ffb\u8bd1\u81ea\u4e2d\u6587\u3002<\/li>\n
  5. <\/span>\u674e\u5f3a\uff08\u5316\u540d\uff09\uff0c2019\u5e74\u4f5c\u8005\u91c7\u8bbf\uff0c\u7ffb\u8bd1\u81ea\u4e2d\u6587\u3002<\/li>\n
  6. <\/span>\u674e\u5f3a\uff08\u5316\u540d\uff09\uff0c2019\u5e74\u4f5c\u8005\u91c7\u8bbf\uff0c\u7ffb\u8bd1\u81ea\u4e2d\u6587\u3002<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/div> \n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div> \n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The traditional Confucian way of viewing relationships continues to set the general expectations\u2014the unspoken cultural guidelines\u2014for how two people in Chinese culture should relate to each other, including when conflict...","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":267,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[77,49,76,46],"class_list":{"0":"post-266","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-blog-entries","8":"tag-acceptance","9":"tag-apologizing","10":"tag-barriers","11":"tag-blog-post"},"yoast_head":"\nBarriers to Apologizing, Part 1 - 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