<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>blog post Archives - Jolene Kinser</title> <atom:link href="https://jolenekinser.com/tag/blog-post/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/tag/blog-post/</link> <description></description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 02 Jan 2025 21:03:42 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-US</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1</generator> <image> <url>https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cropped-Group-6ffff-32x32.png</url> <title>blog post Archives - Jolene Kinser</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/tag/blog-post/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>SOLA Network Book Review of Changing Normal</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/sola-network-book-review-of-changing-normal/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/sola-network-book-review-of-changing-normal/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 02 Jan 2025 21:02:39 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Media]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[book review]]></category> <category><![CDATA[changing normal]]></category> <category><![CDATA[chinese peacemaking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=975</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/sola-network-book-review-of-changing-normal/">SOLA Network Book Review of Changing Normal</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca924737" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row top-level" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap center" data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <a href="https://sola.network/article/changing-normal-book-review/?utm_campaign=linkinbio&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=later-linkinbio" target="_blank" class="center"> <img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="1240" width="1241" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM.png" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM.png 1241w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-300x300.png 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-1024x1024.png 1024w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-150x150.png 150w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-768x767.png 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-140x140.png 140w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-100x100.png 100w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-500x500.png 500w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-350x350.png 350w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-1000x1000.png 1000w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-800x800.png 800w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Screenshot-2025-01-02-at-12.36.10 PM-600x600.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 1241px) 100vw, 1241px" /> </a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p>Aaron Lee at SOLA Network has written a wonderful <a href="https://sola.network/article/changing-normal-book-review/?utm_campaign=linkinbio&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=later-linkinbio" target="_blank" rel="noopener">book review</a> of <em>Changing Normal. </em>The content here is taken from a condensed version of the review found at <a href="https://www.threads.net/@thesolanetwork?xmt=AQGzbM1X7TVoqHk_NZftngf3152miTCwckBYrg6E7OX4iwA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Threadsthesolanetwork:</a></p> <p><span style="color: #000000;"><strong><em>How can Chinese Christians make reconciliation a reality? In Changing Normal, Jolene Kinser helps Chinese Christians overcome cultural barriers to pursuing peace in relationships.</em></strong></span></p> <p><strong>Common Conflicts</strong></p> <p>Kinser, a white American, opens by sharing her personal journey—one that began when she joined her college’s international student team. Over the course of 15 years working in China, 17 years speaking Mandarin, and more than 20 years as a member of a Chinese church in the United States, Kinser’s deep love for the Chinese people has grown through meaningful relationships.</p> <p>Through her studies and personal experiences, Kinser identifies specific relational conflicts common in Chinese culture. These include the avoidance of direct confrontation, the inability to address issues after an explosive conflict, surface-level harmony that masks deeper issues, intergenerational tensions, and relationships marked by resignation or emotional distance.</p> <p><strong>Biblical Peacemaking</strong></p> <p>This book has inspired me to actively contribute to building a community where sin, grievances, and complaints are not ignored. I want to be a Chinese Christian who chooses to forgive, overlooks offenses, and speaks words that build others up.</p> <p>The Chinese cultural context brings unique challenges to biblical peacemaking. I recommend this book as it is a beauty worth pursuing – for the glory of God and the good of his church.</p> <p><strong>Read the full <a href="https://sola.network/article/changing-normal-book-review/?utm_campaign=linkinbio&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=later-linkinbio" target="_blank" rel="noopener">book review</a> by Aaron Lee at <a href="https://sola.network" target="_blank" rel="noopener">SOLA Network</a>!</strong></p> <div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a"> <div dir="auto">Links to purchase “Changing Normal” 《和好如初》):</div> </div> <div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a"> <div dir="auto"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Changing-Normal.../dp/1950058085" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Amazon</a>:</div> <div dir="auto"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Changing-Normal.../dp/1950058085" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="html-span xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x1hl2dhg x16tdsg8 x1vvkbs">https://www.amazon.com/Changing-Normal…/dp/1950058085</span></a></div> </div> <div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a"> <div dir="auto"><a href="https://i.hisbook.cc/book-2164?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1Mg7Ale8G9HjLe1YNIPeDVEyZiE-Z6a4RXdPoqDTG05vJ9Qcxt2unfdTY_aem_i9MXT3QqF2G0LdzYmYDliQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Inspirata Books 恩道电子书:</a></div> <div dir="auto"><span class="html-span xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x1hl2dhg x16tdsg8 x1vvkbs"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x1ejq31n xd10rxx x1sy0etr x17r0tee x972fbf xcfux6l x1qhh985 xm0m39n x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz x1sur9pj xkrqix3 x1fey0fg x1s688f" tabindex="0" role="link" href="https://i.hisbook.cc/book-2164?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1Mg7Ale8G9HjLe1YNIPeDVEyZiE-Z6a4RXdPoqDTG05vJ9Qcxt2unfdTY_aem_i9MXT3QqF2G0LdzYmYDliQ" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">https://i.hisbook.cc/book-2164</a></span></div> </div> <div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a"> <div dir="auto"><a href="https://i.hisbook.cc/book-2164?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1Mg7Ale8G9HjLe1YNIPeDVEyZiE-Z6a4RXdPoqDTG05vJ9Qcxt2unfdTY_aem_i9MXT3QqF2G0LdzYmYDliQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WeDevote 微读书城:</a></div> <div dir="auto"><span class="html-span xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x1hl2dhg x16tdsg8 x1vvkbs"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x1ejq31n xd10rxx x1sy0etr x17r0tee x972fbf xcfux6l x1qhh985 xm0m39n x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz x1sur9pj xkrqix3 x1fey0fg x1s688f" tabindex="0" role="link" href="https://wdbook.com/dp/77328521846785?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR0SOuTJu8S37rQmULh9C9ZcRmO0EkobFo2QgaATIB8zHfuFyBBsOdy2n9M_aem_YCxdftSkGqZRbIwMowytsw" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">https://wdbook.com/dp/77328521846785</a></span></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div id="fws_6781dca92938c" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/sola-network-book-review-of-changing-normal/">SOLA Network Book Review of Changing Normal</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/sola-network-book-review-of-changing-normal/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">975</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Chinese Christians Have Conflicted Feelings About ‘Saving Face’</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/chinese-christians-have-conflicted-feelings-about-saving-face/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/chinese-christians-have-conflicted-feelings-about-saving-face/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 07 May 2024 18:06:45 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Media]]></category> <category><![CDATA[barriers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[changing normal]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Christianity Today]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category> <category><![CDATA[culture]]></category> <category><![CDATA[face]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reconciliation]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=927</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/chinese-christians-have-conflicted-feelings-about-saving-face/">Chinese Christians Have Conflicted Feelings About ‘Saving Face’</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca92a933" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="548" width="942" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Screenshot-2024-05-07-at-10.49.22 AM.png" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Screenshot-2024-05-07-at-10.49.22 AM.png 942w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Screenshot-2024-05-07-at-10.49.22 AM-300x175.png 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Screenshot-2024-05-07-at-10.49.22 AM-768x447.png 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Screenshot-2024-05-07-at-10.49.22 AM-18x10.png 18w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Screenshot-2024-05-07-at-10.49.22 AM-600x349.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 942px) 100vw, 942px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p><strong>My May 3, 2024 article in Christianity Today: </strong></p> <p class="text"><span class="article-dropcap uppercase u-left">I</span>n 1997, I moved from America to China to teach English and study Mandarin. I ended up working there for 15 years. While in the country, I ran an organization with team members of diverse ages, cultures, and ethnicities. Just like in the United States, I discovered that many interpersonal conflicts in China are left unaddressed and unresolved.</p> <p class="text">On my team, two Chinese colleagues resisted working together due to past conflicts that had never been addressed. A local pastor in my community told me about a pastor and an elder of a church who didn’t speak to each other for months due to a church split….<a href="https://christianitytoday.com/ct/2024/may-web-only/chinese-culture-saving-losing-face-christianity.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">(read the full article at Christianity Today)</a></p> <p>** This article is based on excerpts from chapter 4 “Face Matters” in <em>Changing Normal</em>. To read the full chapter, head over to Amazon to pick up a copy of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950058085" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> <em>Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Relationships </em></a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <h3><strong><span style="color: #000000;">Endnotes</span></strong></h3> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/chinese-christians-have-conflicted-feelings-about-saving-face/">Chinese Christians Have Conflicted Feelings About ‘Saving Face’</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/chinese-christians-have-conflicted-feelings-about-saving-face/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">927</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Introducing: Crossroads Resolution Group</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-crossroads-resolution-group/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-crossroads-resolution-group/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 07 May 2024 11:00:16 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Peacemaking Organizations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Christian conciliation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[crossroads]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking organization]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reconciliation]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=897</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-crossroads-resolution-group/">Introducing: Crossroads Resolution Group</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca92c38e" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap center position_desktop_relative " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="202" width="500" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CRGlogo_small.jpg" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CRGlogo_small.jpg 500w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CRGlogo_small-300x121.jpg 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CRGlogo_small-18x7.jpg 18w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p><em>One of my passions is to connect people to useful resources. Thus, I have a series of posts introducing various US- and Taiwan-based organizations that specialize in biblical peacemaking, communication, intergenerational issues, and more.</em></p> <hr /> <div></div> <div class="elementToProof">Whether you are a <strong>pastor</strong>, <strong>business leader</strong>, <strong>family or church member</strong>, or <strong>spouse</strong> you may find yourself in a conflicted relationship or situation and not sure how to proceed or where to turn. <a href="http://www.crossroadsresolution.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Crossroads Resolution Group</a> exists to work alongside churches, groups, organizations, and individuals and help them <strong>respond to and resolve conflicted relationships</strong> and situations in a biblically faithful manner benefiting those involved and those watching.</div> <div></div> <div>I encourage you to check out Crossroads Resolution Group’s website for more details on their wide variety of services.</div> <div class="elementToProof"></div> <div class="elementToProof"><strong>Languages</strong>: English</div> <div class="elementToProof"></div> <div id="Signature"> <div><a href="http://www.crossroadsresolution.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Crossroads Resolution Group homepage</a></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-crossroads-resolution-group/">Introducing: Crossroads Resolution Group</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-crossroads-resolution-group/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">897</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Introducing: Christian Counseling & Conciliation</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-christian-counseling-conciliation/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-christian-counseling-conciliation/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 09 Apr 2024 21:00:15 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Peacemaking Organizations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Christian conciliation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Christian counseling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking organization]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=890</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-christian-counseling-conciliation/">Introducing: Christian Counseling & Conciliation</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca92d88f" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="2176" width="2560" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-scaled.jpg" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-scaled.jpg 2560w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-300x255.jpg 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-1024x870.jpg 1024w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-768x653.jpg 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-1536x1306.jpg 1536w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-2048x1741.jpg 2048w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-14x12.jpg 14w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/CCCLogo-600x510.jpg 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p><em>One of my passions is to connect people to useful resources. Thus, I have a series of posts introducing various US- and Taiwan-based organizations that specialize in biblical peacemaking, communication, intergenerational issues, and more.</em></p> <hr /> <div></div> <div class="elementToProof"><a href="http://www.ccandcservices.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Christian Counseling & Conciliation</a>, located in northern California, exists to bring hope, help, and healing to the hurting through counseling, mediation, training, and consulting services. Peter carries an unwavering commitment to compassionately respond to the needs of those seeking personal and relational health, reconciliation, and restoration. He has over 40 years of experience as a board certified pastoral counselor and over 20 years experience as a Certified Christian Conciliator<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />/Mediator.</div> <div></div> <div>I encourage you to check out Peter Celum’s website to learn more about the services he offers!</div> <div class="elementToProof"></div> <div class="elementToProof"><strong>Languages</strong>: English</div> <div class="elementToProof"></div> <div id="Signature"> <div><a href="http://www.ccandcservices.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Christian Counseling & Conciliation homepage</a></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-christian-counseling-conciliation/">Introducing: Christian Counseling & Conciliation</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/introducing-christian-counseling-conciliation/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">890</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Digging Deeper</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/digging-deeper/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/digging-deeper/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:27:50 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Conflict resolution]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reconciliation]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=882</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/digging-deeper/">Digging Deeper</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca930454" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="1461" width="1703" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885.jpg" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885.jpg 1703w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885-300x257.jpg 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885-1024x878.jpg 1024w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885-768x659.jpg 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885-1536x1318.jpg 1536w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885-14x12.jpg 14w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-laura-stanley-2252311-scaled-e1712092628885-600x515.jpg 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1703px) 100vw, 1703px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p style="font-weight: 400;"><strong> The one who first states a case seems right, until the other comes and cross-examines. — Proverbs 18:17 (NRSV)</strong></p> <p style="font-weight: 400;">The first time I came across this verse after learning how to coach someone through a conflict and provide mediation, I thought: <em>That is so true! We often don’t tell the full story, minimizing our contribution to a problem and enlarging the contribution (or blame) of the other person. We need someone to draw our full story out of us. </em></p> <p style="font-weight: 400;"><em>Similarly, each person involved in a conflict typically has a different view of what the problem is and where the fault lies. We focus entirely on the other person. Misunderstanding and our own blind spots plague our relationships.</em></p> <p style="font-weight: 400;">I’m grateful that a number of quality Bible-based peacemaking organizations exist in the US, providing coaching & mediation services, as well as foundational training to help us learn how to discover our blind spots, examine our full story, and move away from a blaming, fault-finding mentality. Many countries do not have these precious resources!</p> <p style="font-weight: 400;">(See the category “Peacemaking Organizations” for an introduction to a few of these excellent organizations.)</p> <p style="font-weight: 400;">Some of the friends I work with overseas are the FIRST to create this type of organization in their country. It’s a privilege to do this pioneering work together.</p> <p style="font-weight: 400;">I long to see the day when biblical conflict resolution & peacemaking training has been incorporated into every church discipleship and leadership training program!</p> <p><strong>Personal Action Step Idea</strong>: Have you been through a biblical peacemaking training? If not, take a first step today by checking out an organization and their offerings. Get equipped now before that next major conflict happens.</p> <p>Or pick up a copy of my book,<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950058085" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> <em>Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Relationships</em></a>, and read it together with a friend. (Available on Amazon.)</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <div class="small mt-5"> <h6>Image credit: Laura Stanley: https://www.pexels.com/photo/dog-lying-on-shore-during-day-2252311/</h6> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <h3><strong><span style="color: #000000;">Endnotes</span></strong></h3> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/digging-deeper/">Digging Deeper</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/digging-deeper/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">882</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Why ‘Face’ Matters</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/why-face-matters/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/why-face-matters/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jolene Kinser]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 14 Jan 2024 22:04:24 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Media]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[face]]></category> <category><![CDATA[media]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[youtube]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=733</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/why-face-matters/">Why ‘Face’ Matters</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca932113" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="wpb_video_widget wpb_content_element vc_clearfix vc_video-aspect-ratio-169 vc_video-el-width-100 vc_video-align-left" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="wpb_video_wrapper"><iframe loading="lazy" title="Why ‘Face’ Matters" width="1080" height="608" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mofvtKDaUH0?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe></div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p><span class="yt-core-attributed-string yt-core-attributed-string--white-space-pre-wrap"><span class="yt-core-attributed-string--link-inherit-color">Check out ‘Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Relationships’ here on Amazon: </span><span class="yt-core-attributed-string--link-inherit-color"><a class="yt-core-attributed-string__link yt-core-attributed-string__link--display-type yt-core-attributed-string__link--call-to-action-color" tabindex="0" href="https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbWtwZnRjcm1kVlFxdXpCUlRDVWVERjlPUnJXUXxBQ3Jtc0tscmpxWHVxTTBZNVNIRHZucE5zbFpTbnlia21KdWx0UzBPR253VTVIWVlwLWJTU0V0YTJVTGo2aFNQNFVpcFVpWThZRFVMR0NDVWt2b2luRXRqMWFmWHNfNEN3SFhtMzBJYVRTOG5PUEhqOUhTSUVaVQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fdp%2F1950058085&v=mofvtKDaUH0" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950058085</a></span> </span></p> <p><span class="yt-core-attributed-string yt-core-attributed-string--white-space-pre-wrap"><span class="yt-core-attributed-string--link-inherit-color">For more on the story I share in this video, read Chapter Two, “Why We Feel Stuck” (pg 36), </span></span></p> <p><span class="yt-core-attributed-string yt-core-attributed-string--white-space-pre-wrap"><span class="yt-core-attributed-string--link-inherit-color">To gain a new perspective on ‘face’ as well as consider what a theology of ‘face’ could look like, dive into Chapter Four, “Face Matters.”</span></span></p> <div id="snippet" class="style-scope ytd-text-inline-expander"></div> <div class="style-scope ytd-watch-metadata"> <div id="items" class="style-scope ytd-structured-description-content-renderer"> <div id="header" class="style-scope ytd-video-description-transcript-section-renderer"></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/why-face-matters/">Why ‘Face’ Matters</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/why-face-matters/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">733</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Working Our “Initiate Conversation” Muscle</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jolene Kinser]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 27 Nov 2023 17:36:12 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[initiate conversation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=699</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/">Working Our “Initiate Conversation” Muscle</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca934f2d" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="401" width="800" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM.png" alt="Strength Training your faith" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM.png 800w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM-300x150.png 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM-768x385.png 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM-18x9.png 18w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM-670x335.png 670w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Screen-Shot-2024-03-05-at-10.25.46-AM-600x301.png 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p>In Chinese culture, when two people are in conflict, it is common to have a third party be a go-between for communication in order to preserve everyone’s face. While a go-between is needed in some conflicts, talking directly with the other person, although uncomfortable and counter-cultural, is the better first step in many situations.</p> <p>Initiating a conversation after conflict can be difficult for many of us; it is a muscle that needs to be exercised in order to grow stronger. Wang Jia’s story of how her father proactively approached her after an intense conflict illustrates the challenge and need for us to exercise this important muscle.</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p> <em>My dad gets drunk sometimes. During our worst argument ever, I smashed every single bottle of alcohol in the house. The floorboards still bear marks from it. I prayed to God, “I thought you were a righteous God; how could you have given me such a terrible father?”</em></p> <p><em>But in the middle of the conflict, I began to see that my dad is also weak. He’s not purposefully trying to treat us this way. I suddenly saw that my own behavior reflected low character…. [Looking back], I began to see myself more clearly. My dad actually behaves better toward me in conflict than I do toward him!</em></p> <p><em>After [another] conflict…I was angry and spent a lot of time complaining to God, “I can’t be the only one who does the work of reconciling! You have to make him change some, too. If you tell me to bear with this, what should I do when I can’t bear it?”</em></p> <p><em>At that time, my dad lived with me. The day after I prayed, God did something amazing. My dad called me over. He said, “My meaning yesterday isn’t what you imagine it to be. In my heart I really was not thinking like that.”</em></p> <p><em>I immediately felt comforted. First, God heard my prayer. Second, I saw how, in conflict, my dad is the one who is willing to make concessions; I’m the one who builds up a wall. I engage in a cold war and don’t value the relationship.</em></p> <p><em>My father…demonstrated that he isn’t the evil person I had imagined him to be. Also, I saw that I am not the good person that I imagine myself to be. Just like the peacemaking study teaches, “You might be the person with the log in your eye but think you have the splinter.”</em> <span id="easy-footnote-1-46647" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/#easy-footnote-bottom-1-46647" data-hasqtip="0" aria-describedby="qtip-0"><sup>1</sup></a></span> <em>I’m that person. My dad always takes the posture of reconciliation first. Only after he initiates will I examine myself and ask, have I done anything wrong? He has behaved better than I have when it comes to reconciling.</em><span id="easy-footnote-2-46647" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/#easy-footnote-bottom-2-46647" data-hasqtip="1" aria-describedby="qtip-1"><sup>2</sup></a></span> </p></blockquote> <p>In a situation where Wang Jia would have continued to relationally distance herself in her anger, her father proactively initiated a clarifying conversation which led Wang Jia to see how she had misunderstood him. Even though Wang Jia was the one who prayed, and thus is the person we might expect to initiate a conversation, God showed Wang Jia grace through her dad’s initiative. She discovered how much she still needed to grow in this area.</p> <p>For Wu Chunhua, initiating a private conversation about an issue that had come up with her Christian colleague resulted in them seeing how they had misunderstood each other:</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p> <em>I am a kindergarten teacher, and I have a colleague who is a great person. One day, in our class, she said, “Those who are mothers definitely have more experience than those who aren’t mothers,” meaning those teachers who weren’t mothers yet maybe aren’t that good of teachers—at least this is what she seemed to be communicating. Well, because I was not a mother yet, I felt like my work had been negated. I was hurt, but I didn’t go talk to her directly about it. We saw each other often, but I always felt unhappy. No matter what she did, I felt like she was speaking against me, aiming at me.</em></p> <p><em>Finally, one day I asked her, “Have I offended you in any way?”</em></p> <p><em>She replied, “No.” but then shared about a time when she had asked me about my plans to get married; it seemed like I didn’t want to answer her. At the time of her question, I was dating but not yet engaged. She felt she was expressing her care for me, yet I was distancing myself from her, so she began to wonder if perhaps our relationship wasn’t as close as she thought it was.</em></p> <p><em>I didn’t remember this conversation at all! I apologized and reassured her that asking me this question was truly fine. I told her I would have no problem telling her when I will get married because I planned to invite her. In all honesty, I couldn’t recall the conversation!</em></p> <p><em>She responded with a surprised, “Oh!”</em></p> <p><em>Then I told her about the time I had felt hurt by her statement that teachers who are mothers have more experience. She replied, “Oh! That wasn’t my meaning. I was just making conversation.”</em></p> <p><em>I reflected on this and realized she had simply been stating what is true. I had felt negated, rejected as a result of her words, but in certain ways, those who are already mothers do have more experience. When she told me she didn’t intend to convey the meaning that I had heard, we prayed together, cried, and were reconciled.</em><span id="easy-footnote-3-46647" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/#easy-footnote-bottom-3-46647" data-hasqtip="2" aria-describedby="qtip-2"><sup>3</sup></a></span> </p></blockquote> <p>Because Wu Chunhua initiated the conversation and asked directly about offense, her coworker had the opportunity to think back and respond. Thankfully, her coworker was also willing to reflect, speak honestly, and go deeper in conversation, which resulted in clearing up the misunderstandings and developing an even closer relationship.</p> <p>In both these examples, if one person had not initiated opening up the conversational door, these relationships may have drifted further apart until there was no longer any relationship at all. As long as our motivation comes from a godly desire for peace and reconciliation, seeking clarity in relationships is worth the effort. Someone has to take the first step to initiate conversation. For those seeking to reflect God’s face in relationships, let’s be the ones doing the initiating.</p> <div class="wp-block-spacer" aria-hidden="true"></div> <p>Note: Watch for Jolene’s forthcoming book, <em>Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Your Relationships</em>, to learn ways to initiate conversation that don’t exacerbate a situation. Available on Amazon starting January 14, 2024.</p> <p><em>This blog post was first published on November 27, 2023 at <a href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">China Source.</a></em></p> <p>Image credit: <a href="https://unsplash.com/@victorfreitas">Victor Freitas</a> via <a href="https://unsplash.com/">UnSplash</a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <h3><strong><span style="color: #000000;">Endnotes</span></strong></h3> <ol> <li class="easy-footnote-single"> <ol class="easy-footnotes-wrapper"> <li class="easy-footnote-single">Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-2-46647" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Wang Jia, interview.</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-3-46647" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Wu Chunhua, interview.</li> </ol> </li> </ol> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/">Working Our “Initiate Conversation” Muscle</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/working-our-initiate-conversation-muscle/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">699</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Bearing With: Recognizing and Accepting Differences</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jolene Kinser]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 25 Sep 2023 22:22:04 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accepting differences]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=163</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/">Bearing With: Recognizing and Accepting Differences</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca9372c4" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="1002" width="1730" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used.png" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used.png 1730w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used-300x174.png 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used-1024x593.png 1024w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used-768x445.png 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used-1536x890.png 1536w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cell-phone-used-600x348.png 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1730px) 100vw, 1730px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p>When I asked Li Min to describe a typical conflict scenario with her husband, she told me, “None of our conflict situations are about big things, just daily life things.”<span id="easy-footnote-1-27198" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#easy-footnote-bottom-1-27198" data-hasqtip="0" aria-describedby="qtip-0"><sup>1</sup></a></span> To illustrate, she told me of a time when their child’s teacher texted her, reminding them to pay class tuition. For Li Min, this text indicated that her husband had not yet paid the tuition as he had committed to doing. This left her feeling quite angry. As she prepared to forward the message from the teacher to him, she drafted an additional text:</p> <p><em>I reminded you to pay on the nineteenth. I reminded you again on the twentieth. I originally wanted to remind you last night, too, but I thought, I’m afraid he’ll get angry and think that I’m always asking him like this. So I didn’t remind you. But look. You still forgot. GO PAY</em> ASAP!<span id="easy-footnote-2-27198" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#easy-footnote-bottom-2-27198" data-hasqtip="1" aria-describedby="qtip-1"><sup>2</sup></a></span></p> <p>Realizing that this complaining, critical, judgmental draft would just add gasoline to the fire of conflict, she reluctantly deleted it.</p> <p>In its place, she sent the following message to her husband: “The teacher reminded me to pay tuition. I feel some pressure from it.” Notice that she shifted from focusing on what he didn’t do to expressing how she felt upon receiving the text from the teacher.</p> <p>He quickly texted back saying, “Okay. I’m sorry. I forgot.”<span id="easy-footnote-3-27198" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#easy-footnote-bottom-3-27198" data-hasqtip="2" aria-describedby="qtip-2"><sup>3</sup></a></span></p> <p>Li Min is learning to let go when things like this happen: “I regularly remind myself that my husband is not the person I imagine him to be. I am learning to acknowledge that maybe our personalities really are different and it’s okay.”<span id="easy-footnote-4-27198" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#easy-footnote-bottom-4-27198" data-hasqtip="3" aria-describedby="qtip-3"><sup>4</sup></a></span> Seemingly insignificant daily life situations provide ample opportunity for us to practice living out Ephesians 4:2-3: “walk…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Li Min has been growing in bearing with her husband in love by accepting their differences and letting go of offense.</p> <p>When Wang Fang began recognizing and accepting the differences between her and her older, male, Christian colleague with whom she was at odds, she became willing to reconcile with him.</p> <p><em>I started to think to myself: He has worked by himself for all this time, just him. Then I suddenly showed up, trespassing in his safe space. I came too close. Furthermore, my personality is very different from his. In many situations, I was probably too anxious for results, and in the process, I didn’t respect him, so he felt violated.</em><span id="easy-footnote-5-27198" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#easy-footnote-bottom-5-27198" data-hasqtip="4" aria-describedby="qtip-4"><sup>5</sup></a></span></p> <p>His work habits. Her value of results. Very different personalities. These were all differences that Wang Fang found difficult, so she disrespected her colleague in her heart and actions. Though initially resistant to apologizing to him, after gaining new awareness, perspective, and compassion, Wang Fang initiated peacemaking by inviting her colleague to a meal where she patiently looked for the right opportunity to be able to give her apology. “He talked for two and a half hours. I can’t remember any of what he said. I just know that, as he talked, I was looking for the time when I could say, ‘I’m sorry’ to him.” When a phone call interrupted his monologue, she seized the opportunity and apologized. He accepted her apology, and their relationship was restored.</p> <p>By God’s design, we are different from each other, very different! Yet 1 Corinthians 12:12 reminds us: “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.” We are all members of the body of Christ. And while there are appropriate times to leave a particular ministry or church to find another, when the reason for leaving is related to conflict triggered by differences, please pause, and first consider taking biblical peacemaking steps. Ask God what practicing patience and lovingly bearing with the differences of another member of the body of Christ can look like practically speaking, in action.<span id="easy-footnote-6-27198" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/#easy-footnote-bottom-6-27198" data-hasqtip="5" aria-describedby="qtip-5"><sup>6</sup></a></span> Seek ways to grow in understanding and compassion. Living by the Spirit in the love of God can open doors to appreciating and valuing our differences, which over time can lead to breakthrough in relationships.</p> <p> </p> <p>Note: Watch for Jolene’s forthcoming book, <em>Changing Normal: A New Approach to Conflict, Face Issues, and Reconciling Relationships.</em> Chapter eight is filled with stories of what the fruit of the Spirit can look like in our everyday conflict struggles and how bearing this fruit can contribute to relational restoration. Chapter nine gives examples of proactive communication. Loving well may look like remaining silent in some situations and speaking up in others.</p> <p><em>This blog post was first published on September 11, 2023 at <a href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">China Source.</a></em></p> <p>Image credit: <a href="https://unsplash.com/@andyvult" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Andy Vult</a> via <a href="https://unsplash.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">UnSplash</a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <h3><strong><span style="color: #000000;">Endnotes</span></strong></h3> <ol> <li>Li Min (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> <li>Ibid. If I had explored her interests with her, she may have discovered that beneath her anger was a desire for respect and/or a desire to be responsible. Recognizing our underlying desire(s) can help us be more aware of our anger triggers in the future and mindful of how we respond.</li> <li>Notice how Li Min’s change from being critical in her text interaction with her husband to simply expressing the difficult position that she found herself in gave him the opportunity to respond to her heart rather than needing to respond to an attack.</li> <li>Li Min, author interview.</li> <li>Wang Fang, author interview.</li> <li>Note: Bearing with does not mean becoming a doormat and never speaking up or confronting issues.</li> </ol> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/">Bearing With: Recognizing and Accepting Differences</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/bearing-with-recognizing-and-accepting-differences/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">163</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Love In Action</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/love-in-action/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/love-in-action/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jolene Kinser]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 05 Sep 2023 05:23:13 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peacemaking]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=47</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/love-in-action/">Love In Action</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca9392f4" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="853" width="1280" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1.jpg" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1.jpg 1280w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1-768x512.jpg 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1-18x12.jpg 18w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1-900x600.jpg 900w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/hands-2906458_1280-1-600x400.jpg 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p>Living out 1 John 3:18, “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (NIV) can bear peacemaking fruit in our relationships. Thankfully, God loves us with actions and in truth whether we are at odds with him or not. Investing in a relationship with someone we are at odds with, assuming it is not an abusive relationship, can reflect that same type of love and have significant impact.</p> <h5>“I Never Expected You Would Take Care of Us”</h5> <p>Yang Lin, a woman I interviewed in China, had experienced years of opposition and relational rejection from her in-laws. Despite this treatment, when her father-in-law was hospitalized, Yang Lin chose to lovingly care for him.</p> <p><em>Last year my father-in-law became ill. . . . I was the only person available to help. So I set aside my work and went to their city to take care of him. I took care of everything for them from finding a doctor to arrangements for the hospital stay.</em></p> <p><em>My mother-in-law’s heart was weak at that time, so I couldn’t let her stay with my father-in-law at night. I spent the nights with him instead. Sometimes I returned home during the day to teach, making for long days. . . . In the end, he was unable to move and just lay on the bed, so I would bathe his body, including taking care of his waste.</em></p> <p><em>Then my husband’s father, deeply moved, said to me, “I never expected that you would take care of us like this. After the way we treated you. . . . I am so sorry.”</em></p> <p><em>He was later baptized in his hospital bed, and I said to him, “We are one family in the Lord now, I am so thankful!”</em></p> <p><em>Before he passed away last year, he [again] apologized to me. My heart was released, and I felt all these years of effort were not in vain.</em></p> <p><em>The relationship with my husband’s mother also suddenly and completely changed. She affirmed me and apologized to me . . . for treating me poorly. Additionally, she also came to believe in the Lord!</em></p> <p><em>The relationship changed from one in which they completely ignored me, to tolerance, to them being kind to me on a surface level. But in the end, when others asked them if I was their daughter (a daughter-in-law would never take care of in-laws like that), they would say, “Yes, she’s my girl, my daughter.” I was so happy. I finally felt affirmed.</em><span id="easy-footnote-1-27172" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/love-in-action/#easy-footnote-bottom-1-27172" data-hasqtip="0" aria-describedby="qtip-0"><sup>1</sup></a></span></p> <p>Yang Lin’s humble and sacrificial care, despite years of being rejected, resulted in her being fully received as a daughter and her in-laws placing their faith in Jesus Christ. Here are two individuals who might never have come into a relationship with Jesus without the sacrificial, Spirit-prompted fruit of loving actions from one who could have chosen to stay away.</p> <h5></h5> <h5>“Lord, Let Me Exercise Patience to Bear with Her”</h5> <p>Knowing how deeply God loves us makes a pivotal difference in being able to love others with the same kind of love. Chen Yuling described how God enabled her to love people she didn’t even like:</p> <p><em>Before I believed in Jesus, if I had an affinity for you and found you easy to get along with, I would spend more time with you. If I didn’t think much of you, I simply would not spend time with you. But after believing in Jesus, I am no longer that way.</em></p> <p><em>I lead a spiritual growth small group at our church. In this group, we have all different types of women. Some of the women truly are not loveable, to the degree that sometimes, frankly speaking, they are annoying. But, when that happens, I remember that Jesus loves this woman just as he loves me. . . . At this time, I talk to the Lord, drawing strength from him, “Lord, let me exercise patience to bear with her. Lord, I pray for her.”<span id="easy-footnote-2-27172" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/love-in-action/#easy-footnote-bottom-2-27172" data-hasqtip="1" aria-describedby="qtip-1"><sup>2</sup></a></span></em></p> <p>Though knowing God’s love doesn’t necessarily make it easy to love people who are irritating and difficult, it does make loving possible. Our relationship with God will expand our understanding of love, and God gives us strength to love even those we previously would have ignored. An expanded view of love leads to more expansive love in even the small yet impactful day-to-day events of life.</p> <p><strong>Note</strong>: Watch for Jolene’s forthcoming book, <em>Changing Normal: Overcome Barriers to Resolving Conflict, Start Reconciling Relationships</em>, for more examples of how bearing the fruit of the Spirit contributes to peacemaking and relational reconciliation.</p> <p><em>This blog post was first published on August 28, 2023 at <a href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/love-in-action/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">China Source.</a></em></p> <p>Image credit: <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/sabinevanerp-2145163/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sabinevanerp</a> via <a href="https://pixabay.com/photos/hands-old-old-age-elderly-2906458/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Pixabay.</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <h3><strong><span style="color: #000000;">Endnotes</span></strong></h3> <ol> <li class="easy-footnote-single">Yang Lin (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-2-46165" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Chen Yuling (pseudonym), author interview, 2019</li> </ol> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/love-in-action/">Love In Action</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/love-in-action/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">47</post-id> </item> <item> <title>Gospel Power at Work in the Heart</title> <link>https://jolenekinser.com/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/</link> <comments>https://jolenekinser.com/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jolene Kinser]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 15 Aug 2023 05:26:05 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Blog Entries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blog post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gospel]]></category> <category><![CDATA[heart]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peace]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://jolenekinser.com/?p=49</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/">Gospel Power at Work in the Heart</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div id="fws_6781dca93b24e" data-column-margin="default" data-midnight="dark" class="wpb_row vc_row-fluid vc_row" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; "><div class="row-bg-wrap" data-bg-animation="none" data-bg-animation-delay="" data-bg-overlay="false"><div class="inner-wrap row-bg-layer" ><div class="row-bg viewport-desktop" style=""></div></div></div><div class="row_col_wrap_12 col span_12 dark left"> <div class="vc_col-sm-12 wpb_column column_container vc_column_container col no-extra-padding inherit_tablet inherit_phone " data-padding-pos="all" data-has-bg-color="false" data-bg-color="" data-bg-opacity="1" data-animation="" data-delay="0" > <div class="vc_column-inner" > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <div class="img-with-aniamtion-wrap " data-max-width="100%" data-max-width-mobile="default" data-shadow="none" data-animation="none" > <div class="inner"> <div class="hover-wrap"> <div class="hover-wrap-inner"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="img-with-animation skip-lazy " data-delay="0" height="403" width="803" data-animation="none" src="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM.png" alt="" srcset="https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM.png 803w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM-300x151.png 300w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM-768x385.png 768w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM-18x9.png 18w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM-670x335.png 670w, https://jolenekinser.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Screen-Shot-2024-03-11-at-5.25.11-PM-600x301.png 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 803px) 100vw, 803px" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <p>In a face-saving culture, neither giving authentic apologies nor proactively communicating about conflict are for the faint of heart. Many of those I interviewed in China recognized “that true strength to apologize comes from God letting me understand myself better, that I am not perfect.”<span id="easy-footnote-1-27150" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/#easy-footnote-bottom-1-27150" data-hasqtip="0" aria-describedby="qtip-0"><sup>1</sup></a></span> Knowing ourselves means “we know that our plight is just about the same as everyone else’s. You make the same mistakes yourself.”<span id="easy-footnote-2-27150" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/#easy-footnote-bottom-2-27150" data-hasqtip="1" aria-describedby="qtip-1"><sup>2</sup></a></span> Gaining a true view of ourselves from God is humbling and freeing and can spur us on to apologize for our contributions to conflict. This strength-giving awareness comes through receiving a new identity rooted in God’s love and experiencing God’s gospel power at work in our hearts.</p> <p>Gaining a true view of self, together with embracing a new identity, is a powerful strength-giving combination. The truth that Jesus died for us, enabling our reconciliation with God and restoring our place in his family, is the foundation of our true identity. Some I interviewed expressed how knowing God loves them, despite their problems, gives them strength to apologize. As one person explained, when God points out our faults, he does so in love; therefore, there is no shame and nothing to fear. For Zhao Cheng and many others, God’s love not only gives strength to apologize but also to forgive:</p> <p><em>Our sin nature is prone toward our internal selfishness, toward battling for revenge. If I’ve been hurt, I should get revenge. Without this faith, without often thinking on the Lord Jesus’ sacrifice for us, the price he paid, every day recalling his grace…. If I don’t return again every few days to these thoughts, to Father God’s love in my life, then it is impossible to forgive.<span id="easy-footnote-3-27150" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/#easy-footnote-bottom-3-27150" data-hasqtip="2" aria-describedby="qtip-2"><sup>3</sup></a></span></em></p> <p>This identity rooted in God’s love provides the security we need to be courageous in our fragile human relationships—to apologize, forgive, proactively communicate, and even face rejection.</p> <p>With a believer’s new identity comes the experience of the changing power of the gospel, the Holy Spirit’s work in the heart. Chen Yuling explained, “It is the power of Jesus, the power of the gospel, that enables us to have this strength to dare to apologize. It’s not something a person is able to do. It is the power of the Holy Spirit in us renewing us.”<span id="easy-footnote-4-27150" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/#easy-footnote-bottom-4-27150" data-hasqtip="3" aria-describedby="qtip-3"><sup>4</sup></a></span> As they sought God through prayer and recognized the need for humility, many of those I interviewed began experiencing Christ as Lord.</p> <p>Recalling and singing Scripture gave Chen Yuling strength to face rejection and continue visiting her mother-in-law who had hurt her deeply over the years.</p> <p><em>I am divorced…but I still needed to maintain a relationship with my mother-in-law. You know, in China, daughters-in-law and their mothers-in-law have a lot of conflicts. At that time, my mother-in-law regularly said hurtful words and rejected me. As a result, I had a lot of inner struggles every time I went to see her. Having to regularly face her rejection was extremely painful.</em></p> <p><em>Before going to visit her, I would sing songs from 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 and Proverbs 15:1 about the true meaning of love and how “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I had to receive both God’s Word and the Holy Spirit’s work in my heart giving me strength before going to face her rejection, coldness, and indifference.</em></p> <p>The combination of recalling God’s Word and receiving the Holy Spirit’s work in our hearts can give us the courage and strength we need for difficult relationships.</p> <p>In Liu Yang’s case, God gave her the strength she needed to proactively talk to her mother about her mother’s role in exacerbating a conflict pattern with her older sister-in-law:</p> <p><em>I had not been willing to talk to my mother about this issue. For one, I was very tired, and second, I just wanted to avoid it. As a result, conflicts kept happening for several years.</em></p> <p><em>So on that day, I prayed. I discovered that I had to exert all my strength in prayer, begging God to give me strength. Only after receiving strength from God was I able to break down my barrier, my unwillingness to communicate. After praying, I acted in accordance with the peacemaking principle of going face to face to talk to someone (Matthew 18:15).<span id="easy-footnote-5-27150" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span><span class="easy-footnote"><a title="" href="https://jolenekinser.com/blog-entries/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/#easy-footnote-bottom-5-27150" data-hasqtip="4" aria-describedby="qtip-4"><sup>5</sup></a></span></em></p> <p>God gave Liu Yang the strength to do something completely contrary to her normal way, to obey God’s Word and gently confront her mother on an issue. This took a lowering of herself in her own eyes and an admittance of personal weakness and dependency on the Lord’s strength. May we all gain such strength to apologize, forgive, and proactively communicate as we humbly allow God’s Spirit to work in our hearts.</p> <p><strong>Note:</strong> This blog post contains content from Jolene’s forthcoming book, <em>Changing Normal: Overcome Barriers to Resolving Conflict, Start Reconciling Relationships.</em></p> <p><em>This blog post was first published on August 14, 2023 at <a href="https://www.chinasource.org/resource-library/blog-entries/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">China Source.</a></em></p> <p>Image credit: Courtesy of the author.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wpb_text_column wpb_content_element " > <div class="wpb_wrapper"> <h3><strong><span style="color: #000000;">Endnotes</span></strong></h3> <ol> <li class="easy-footnote-single">Zhang Yong (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-2-46128" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Zhao Cheng (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-3-46128" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Zhao Cheng (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-4-46128" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Chen Yuling (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> <li class="easy-footnote-single"><span id="easy-footnote-bottom-5-46128" class="easy-footnote-margin-adjust"></span>Liu Yang (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.</li> </ol> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <p>The post <a href="https://jolenekinser.com/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/">Gospel Power at Work in the Heart</a> appeared first on <a href="https://jolenekinser.com">Jolene Kinser</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://jolenekinser.com/gospel-power-at-work-in-the-heart/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">49</post-id> </item> </channel> </rss>